0:00

Greetings adventurers! Today, this very

0:02

minute marks the start of

0:05

our Kickstarter for unnatural horrors.

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That's right, our 275 plus

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page tome is making its first

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steps towards being printed in hardcover.

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I don't need to tell you how awesome it is because most

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of you already helped us get to this point. And

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our video on Kickstarter, which is there right now,

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check it out, the link is in the show

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notes, does a much better job of explaining the

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true necromancer class and how for $666 you

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can make a monster with us, get artwork made

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of your monster, and an STL file you can

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use to print at home. Or make an NPC

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for $500. This episode

0:37

is a bit brief but packed with information

0:39

that will either go right over your head

0:41

or else connect a lot of dots for

0:43

you depending on your level of interest. I'm

0:45

also really happy to have Ladybeard and Mike

0:47

Villalobos join us in the show. I used

0:49

to be in a rival band with Mike

0:51

and we used to battle each other on

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stage across the United

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States from Texas to Florida with

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arm cannons and accordions and all

1:00

that madness. And Mike is an

1:02

amazing player of Dark Souls and Demon's Souls

1:04

and Elden Ring and all those things. You

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can check him out on Twitch, he's awesome.

1:08

And if you don't know Ladybeard, oh my

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gosh, check out Ladybeard's Wikipedia, just do it.

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Stop what you're doing right now and check

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that out. Anyway, we have a very exciting

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episode for you. But before we get to

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the episode itself, we have a very important

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Rowena, wake up. Start up virtual tabletop

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from Iceland. It's our turn to be

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on watch. Come on. Ah, ah,

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a century. Oh. Yes,

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sorry to wake you. No,

1:47

no, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Just

1:50

had another one of those weird dreams. You

1:53

were saying many strange words, at least.

1:56

I was? Yeah. I

2:00

was playing games at the scrying glass again

2:02

with the quest portal spell. My old friends

2:04

and I. It was

2:06

such a nice dream. We had such a good time. Sounds

2:09

calming. Happy. You

2:12

know what it was. Quest

2:14

portal created such a beautiful interface for our

2:17

game. Helped us swap notes and let

2:19

us roll dice together. It's

2:21

been so long since I've seen them. It's sad to know

2:23

it's just a dream. Rolling

2:25

dice with friends I mean. Maybe

2:27

one day. One day. Plenty

2:29

of time left. You're still

2:32

young. Believe me. And

2:34

my clicking niece. Hopefully. And

2:37

I hope I can get quest

2:39

portal. Imagine that. A few silver paid in

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components and suddenly I have a magical intelligence

2:44

helping me create a great new

2:46

memory. Such a good game. A

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great game. Do you still

2:51

remember the incantation? Of

2:53

course. Go to questportal.com/dark

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dice or search for quest portal in

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the apple store or google play store.

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At checkout use coupon dark dice 30

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for a one time 30% off a

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pro subscription. Nothing

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yet though. Well at least

3:09

for now. But hold on to

3:11

that until you get a scrying glass in your hands. You

3:14

never know. I'm

3:16

gonna feed the fire. Just keep that quest

3:18

portal incantation in your mind and hold on to

3:20

those happy dreams. The time

3:23

will come. Thanks Indri.

3:27

Go to questportal.com/dark dice or search for

3:29

quest portal in the apple store or

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google play store. At checkout use coupon

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dark dice 30 for a one time

3:35

30% off a pro subscription. Maybe

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it would be better on a scrying glass. Okay

3:40

I'll try again anyway. Go

3:42

to questportal.com/dark dice. Welcome

3:47

back to your listeners to dark dice. I'm

3:50

your co-guide in this story, Travis

3:52

Vengroff, co-game master of

3:54

dark dice. Previously,

3:57

Sindri and his allies met up with the Lucky

3:59

Die crew. in the dream realm of Chromana.

4:02

If they wanted to escape, they would need

4:04

to pluck the eye of prophecy from the

4:06

spider goddess Ferranti. At least,

4:09

that's what some elements of their

4:11

party insisted. But could

4:13

their new allies be trusted? Why

4:15

was the shrieking woman following them, and

4:17

would they ever return home? I

4:19

guess we're about to find out. I'll

5:26

grab the back of the rope. I'm not going to

5:28

grab Elias. With

5:32

the aid of Zoltana, the dwarf was pulled up

5:34

from the hull. He had black

5:37

greasy hair and a strange horseshoe-shaped scar

5:39

over one eye, shaking heavily as he

5:41

found his footing on solid ground. Thank

5:45

you so much, friends. What's

5:50

your name? Felon. Felon.

5:55

Felon, I got a shot. Sindri's

5:57

ears perked up, recognizing the voice of a

5:59

friend. A merchant he would regularly

6:01

meet with, who shared updates on his family

6:03

in Westman's home. Laelan, what

6:06

are you doing here? Sindri. I

6:09

did not expect to see you here. I,

6:11

um... I didn't expect to see

6:13

anyone here. I... What are

6:15

you doing? This...

6:17

this room. I don't

6:20

remember how I arrived here, but I've

6:23

been falling for a long, long

6:25

time. I'm

6:27

so hungry. Please,

6:30

I have some food. Here, take some. Thank

6:32

you. Oh. Caulfield, who

6:34

had entered with Sindri, noticed a key

6:37

attached to Vaelan's necklace, and pulled it,

6:39

examining it under her lantern light. I

6:41

think this is it. You. We

6:44

need this. Vaelan did not even

6:46

look up from his meal, as Caulfield snatched the

6:48

key. Without the key! Um,

6:52

guys, something is happening in the hallway.

6:55

There's some matter of darkness coming this way and doors

6:57

are vanishing. If you have the key, I

6:59

suggest that you get over here. We need to go. Yes.

7:03

I'll follow you. Let's go to me. Let's

7:05

go. Yes. I'm

7:08

almost there! Hold on! Second door on the

7:10

right. That's what she said. Second door on

7:13

the right. Let's go! As the team crawled

7:15

out of the door, which was on the

7:17

floor, now with an extra dwarf in tow,

7:19

the spirit of the shrieking lady materialized, Vaelan

7:21

glaring a balance. And

7:23

just as she phased out of existence, vanishing,

7:25

he could feel a slight shove in the

7:27

small at his back. Would you

7:30

fuck off with this already? Sixteen. A

7:33

push that felt very much like a mage hand.

7:35

No! No! Please!

7:39

No! The hallway that stretched before the team

7:41

began to be engulfed by an oncoming darkness

7:44

as Caulfield pushed forward. No! No,

7:46

no, no, no, no, no. Is she still there? Go still there?

7:49

Fuck! For

7:51

those listening to this as a podcast, Balance, or

7:53

rather ARCH the actor for Balance, just disappeared from

7:55

the zoom screen in a slow descending motion. Don't

7:58

worry, I'm just down here in Gar- garbage land

8:01

where I can't save any of my friends because

8:03

I'm useless. And as the team

8:05

stood in the hallway, the doors behind them began to

8:07

vanish one by one. The remaining doors

8:09

could be reached if they were quick enough, but

8:12

they would only have one chance to remember the correct door

8:14

to take. I believe it's time to

8:16

run to the second door on the right. Yes. It's

8:19

locked! Use the key! Put

8:21

the key in the door! It

8:24

worked! Come on! The

8:27

group rushed into a small room slamming the door behind

8:29

them after Keith and Rowena entered.

8:32

They found themselves within an office, perhaps

8:34

for a scribe, a priest or librarian,

8:37

smelled of incense, mildew, and

8:39

old paper. Everything

8:41

is so weird here. I

8:44

hate it. It hates you

8:46

too. It's simply a bad

8:49

dream, and we need to get out of it. Before

8:52

the team, illuminated by a small metal

8:54

lamp, was a cramped room containing a

8:56

worn cot, a wooden desk, and a

8:58

metal chair over a musty rug worn

9:01

with age. A crooked

9:03

bookcase and a faded tapestry of a

9:05

crystal-spired castle covered in spiders was

9:07

the only hint to its former occupants'

9:10

interests. What are we

9:12

supposed to be looking for? We're looking for

9:14

a giant, ugly spider with red glowing

9:16

eyes. Githa said

9:18

that Farate would be here. No,

9:20

I said we might find information here.

9:24

I'm trying to see if there's anything useful in

9:26

terms of knowledge. There is a bookcase and there

9:28

are books on the bookcase. Trying to see if

9:30

there's anything that we need to know from those

9:33

books. So, 24. Over

9:36

the course of the following minutes and

9:38

conversations, Lierlin Ballon searched the shelves, scanning

9:40

the faded titles for anything of value

9:42

and finding very little. Most

9:45

of the books were revealed to be blank, save

9:47

for small tactile bumps which held no

9:50

meaning to balance. But

9:52

for Lierl, this was a secret

9:55

language practiced by her people, especially those

9:57

who preferred to read without light. as

10:00

she poured through the texts, mostly

10:02

treatisees, Unforbidden Magics, Destiny and Prophecy.

10:04

She came across a bound purple

10:06

tome, a journal of prophecies

10:08

written by the former occupant of this room.

10:11

While she read so much more, the

10:14

most interesting verse, its final entry,

10:17

read as follows. I

10:20

have been granted a vision that

10:23

our home will be forever changed.

10:26

I know not the hour, nor

10:28

the day, only its

10:31

inevitability, as unstoppable

10:33

as the march of seasons.

10:37

Fall will end, and

10:39

winter will bring a most

10:41

terrible darkness. The

10:43

shadow of war will envelop my

10:45

beloved daleria, on

10:47

the night that blood from

10:50

sacrifices too numerous to count

10:52

stains the land. Their

10:55

cries were torturous, will

10:58

be torturous. Our

11:01

captors' cruelty only matched by

11:03

their devotion to that most

11:06

terrible patron. Before

11:08

the bell of bone is struck,

11:11

the all-mother of winter's forces

11:13

will find their way, force

11:15

their way here, to

11:17

our temple and murder us for

11:20

the unbending devotion they

11:22

will claim as disobedience.

11:25

Our bodies will be broken, ripped

11:28

asunder, and

11:30

reanimated by a second-rate

11:33

wizard named Caulfield, loading

11:36

scum, scavengers seeking

11:38

to steal the power of a

11:40

god. It

11:42

is a terrible irony that

11:45

our devoted congregation will

11:47

fall under one so

11:50

weak-willed, but it

11:53

is not the place of mortals

11:55

to question our role in destiny.

11:58

Though I will certainly... die, there

12:01

is solace in knowing that

12:04

writing these words will lead to

12:06

our vengeance." As

12:09

Lee relied Caulfield with unseen suspicion,

12:12

Balance scoured the various theorems in the

12:14

room, which, unknown to him, were

12:16

written by a different hand entirely. These

12:19

parchments contained information on spiritual possession,

12:22

speaking with the dead, and

12:24

other esoteric designs of necromancy. Balance

12:28

was most interested in sections pertaining

12:30

to willing possession, poring over a

12:32

parchment that outlined the process of

12:35

attaching a spirit to a host body, and

12:37

memorizing the information before sharing it with the

12:39

group. Meanwhile the rest of

12:41

the party spoke with the intelligent mimics hidden in

12:43

the room before killing them in a scene the

12:46

co-dms felt was too comedic to include in this

12:48

episode, and added nothing of value that would ever be

12:50

referenced again. A scene which would

12:52

have also put this episode well over runtime. During

12:55

this interesting time, the team did, however,

12:57

locate a trap door beneath the rug,

13:00

and read another journal that they discovered out loud,

13:02

one that had, unknown to all but

13:04

Lyral, been written by Caulfield. The

13:07

journal, a work of fiction, spoke

13:09

of miracles, gods, and the alleged

13:11

transformation of Ferrati into a monstrous

13:14

husk. Killing Ferrati,

13:16

the journal alleged, would be a true

13:18

kindness as the spider-bitch would eventually turn

13:20

on us as well. As

13:23

the less magically inclined individuals in the party

13:25

began to examine the trap door, and

13:28

Lyral has the book and the diary that

13:30

she's carrying. Can Lyral come with us? I

13:34

feel like Balance just found a new friend. All

13:36

I have to do is read to be Balance's friend

13:38

more. Great. It's okay, it's okay, Raul,

13:40

you're still my best friend. Cal takes

13:42

offense. Balance just wants to have a friend

13:44

who he can speak in a secret language with

13:47

who's also an elf. Listen, we can start our

13:49

own book club. Exactly, and I'm

13:51

fun because you never know what I'm gonna do.

13:54

As Lyral patted Caulfield on the back of her

13:56

neck and stood up, she couldn't help

13:58

but smile at her new friend. Lyrl,

14:01

the newest member of the Lucky Die. Through

14:03

the disorienting abyss of the trapdoor, they once

14:06

again found the shift of gravity, pulling

14:08

themselves up into the darkness, before understanding that

14:11

they were now within a human cave that

14:13

exited to a dark

14:15

beach, a serene

14:18

scene of lapping waves and

14:20

a star-filled night. The

14:22

ebbing flow of reds and aurora of

14:24

sorts, loving overhead as if to mirror

14:26

the waters beneath. Out

14:29

of a moon there was simply a skull, partially

14:31

obscured by the celestial darkness as

14:33

a titanic wave of living crabs

14:35

pulled further and further from them

14:37

with each passing moment. From

14:40

this distance, waves of water could

14:42

be heard mutably crashing upon the shore. And

14:45

further up the beach, perhaps by a mile

14:47

or 1.6 kilometers, a

14:50

lighthouse was visible, its

14:52

blue light flashing once or twice every

14:54

minute. Follow

14:57

us by Kanna, writes himself up. I

15:01

do not approve of these dreams. They

15:03

are twisted and disgusting. Eh,

15:06

well we ain't got a choice. Did

15:08

you guys learn anything from those books? Do

15:11

we know how to get out? Do we know where she

15:13

is? She's in

15:15

there. The lighthouse.

15:19

I don't think the books had anything really to do with

15:21

getting out. Other

15:24

interesting tidbits. Well

15:27

things to do with getting spirits out, but not

15:30

really applicable for any

15:32

of us unless any of you are spirits. Raze

15:35

is an eyebrow. I think we might about to

15:37

be. No, don't

15:39

be so pessimistic. Well I mean that's

15:41

a fair observation, but we should probably

15:43

go. Can we just

15:45

take a short break to gather ourselves?

15:49

You know. There is not enough time

15:51

to rest, but the journey need

15:53

not be rushed. Confirming

16:00

it as being the symbol of the All-Shadow,

16:02

before pocketing it and electing to withhold this

16:04

information while removing the wax from her hands.

16:07

And just like that, Chilien Caulfield

16:09

was never spoken of again. Laurel

16:12

would like to explain some of the necromatic things

16:14

that she and Balance read to the rest of

16:16

the party, but in a concise manner. Yeah,

16:19

I imagine between Laurel and Balance we

16:21

can kind of break

16:24

down roughly, request that if

16:26

anybody sees the screaming lady

16:28

again, do not attack and

16:31

get his attention. His

16:33

being get Balance's attention. Not

16:35

to attack the creature. Please don't. Balance.

16:39

Hi. What happened back there

16:41

with that lady? Um,

16:46

I think that might be Ninverna.

16:50

Oh. I'm

16:53

sorry. She walks over and kind of

16:55

like pats him. Awkwardly.

16:59

That awkward, like, when your friend is in pain but

17:01

you don't know what to do, Pat. Vail

17:03

and the Dwarf looked up to meet Balance's gaze.

17:06

Your friend is infernal. I'm

17:08

sorry? Infernal, you say? No,

17:12

her name is Ninverna. She was a friend

17:14

of mine from a long

17:17

time ago. You've been trying

17:19

to find her spirit because she, I thought,

17:23

perished, but I

17:25

think that she may be here and

17:27

I think that screaming lady is her.

17:31

The smell of vomit dissipated somewhat as

17:33

Vaelin stepped further away from Balance. Oh,

17:35

good. Lidl

17:38

knots her head at Balance. I

17:41

am sorry to hear this. Pain

17:43

is ever-present. I

17:47

don't think it's just pain, it's guilt. I

17:51

am partially to blame for why she's

17:53

here. What happened? You

17:55

sent her to the stream room? Not

17:58

intentionally. I

18:01

have certain abilities that were acquired

18:04

through less than ideal means which

18:09

When I acquired them I

18:11

was unable to control and

18:13

accidentally blew her brains out

18:15

because of it I can understand

18:17

the guilt Is that

18:19

because you were forcing down your

18:21

powers? because I had The

18:25

powers forced upon me and had no idea how

18:27

to control them But

18:29

you know how to control them now to

18:32

have precise tea We

18:35

all have things happen to us. You

18:37

are no more to blame than a child that didn't know

18:39

how to swim Speaking of

18:41

swimming Raul is definitely walking in the water

18:43

more than he's walking on the beach He's

18:46

like probably waist deep. He just wants

18:48

to wait in it to calm himself down. He

18:51

likes the water The water

18:53

was gentle and cool It

18:55

was curious to discover that while the water did

18:57

indeed move from the tide It

19:00

lacked life and the flourishing of organic

19:02

movement Is it salty? He

19:05

just he just wants to wait in it

19:07

to calm himself down He's not like trying

19:09

to drink from the ocean. He's been on

19:11

the ocean before But

19:13

it's a dream ocean. Oh,

19:16

maybe it's cotton candy I

19:18

mean it does Balance the

19:21

ocean is cotton candy and dreams Come

19:24

on. No, this ocean is only dream.

19:26

I don't think it's cotton. Whatever If

19:29

this is all a dream, can we conjure things

19:31

that we think of? Try

19:33

it. It's not our dream I

19:35

would doubt it but it wouldn't hurt to try

19:38

Zoltana thinks of a really

19:40

big pizza and Zoltana

19:42

thought of a really big

19:44

pizza Liriel thinks

19:46

of like the the best

19:49

Armor that she she can and

19:51

imagines it appearing in front of her Liriel

19:54

thought of this and closed her eyes She

19:57

thought a little bit harder and opened

19:59

them into disappointment. Wreath looked

20:01

at her in confusion. She shrugs

20:03

and pats his head. It was worth

20:06

trying. Now I just really want

20:08

that pizza. Elias is

20:10

between the water and the people. He's

20:12

just off by himself drinking, and he's

20:14

muttering about how everyone is

20:17

ridiculous, how he saw Liril kill

20:19

that woman, and how

20:23

he made so many mistakes to join this

20:25

group. The party recovered

20:27

one hit die of health during a

20:29

short but resting walk. I

20:32

think that once the conversation kind

20:34

of died down, he slowed back down and

20:37

went to Rowena. Valen, who

20:39

had joined him, was surprised and almost

20:41

saddened to see Rowena. She's

20:43

here too then. Yes.

20:47

It's... What

20:49

are you doing in this dream room? It's

20:52

a bit of a story. I

20:55

didn't mean to interrupt your time with Rowena. Is

20:57

she? Yeah. She's

20:59

here. She's sick. Lady

21:02

Getha is taking care of us as is. You

21:05

will overcome this. We will

21:07

overcome this. With

21:10

you, Father, I'm sure that anything is possible.

21:13

I was... When

21:15

I was stuck and falling, I

21:18

was thinking over and over again, who would I

21:20

want to see who could help me

21:22

in this situation? And I

21:25

found myself thinking of you. Then,

21:29

surely enough, there you are, a

21:32

blessing like the sunrise after last

21:34

light. Here I am.

21:37

Did you... Maybe

21:39

you're really hoping for something in this dream room that makes

21:42

it come true? Perhaps. The

21:45

nightcap fell from Rowena's hand. Father

21:50

was piped in and picked it up. He

21:53

just kind of holds it in his hand. His

21:58

young cousin had turned exceptionally... pale, and

22:01

without a smile to hide behind, the circles

22:03

behind her eyes became deeper, more intense, larger

22:05

than he would have expected them to be.

22:08

In the darkness, he also thought he

22:10

could see a slight depression in the

22:12

centre of her forehead, though it

22:14

could have been the trick of the light. What

22:17

happened to her? To Rowena. She

22:20

looks different. Unhealthy.

22:25

She is very sick. Been

22:28

getting sicker by the day. She

22:31

travelled with me and took upon herself a

22:33

lot of guilt. I

22:36

think it may be figuratively and literally eating

22:38

her up inside. Vova's

22:42

bike slips his silly little

22:44

night cap on her head. She

22:46

needs to rest. She needs to sleep. We

22:49

have arrived. I

22:52

leave this to you, heroes. I

22:56

will keep your cousin safe and follow

22:58

once it is clear. The

23:01

masked healer motioned ahead to the lighthouse while

23:03

Vaelin stood beside her, ensuring that she kept

23:05

her word. Sindri kissed his

23:07

fingers with a whispered prayer before touching them

23:09

to Rowena's forehead, and leading the

23:11

team toward the lighthouse entrance with Sultana. I

23:16

would like to be somewhere in the middle. Yeah,

23:19

I'm close behind the front, people, but not

23:21

brave enough to be front. So

23:24

we have the Dwarven front line, we have the

23:26

monks and myself in the middle, and we have

23:28

balance at the back with the other non-combatants. I

23:31

like this plan. Monks squad. Monks

23:33

squad. Monks squad. Hey,

23:36

can we do the fusion dance? Is that a thing? No, no. Beyond

23:44

the door was a magical darkness through

23:46

which they could not see or sense.

23:51

And long they waited at the threshold. Cowards.

23:56

Lyrl doesn't ask, she just walks past the others through

23:59

the darkness. That doesn't seem

24:01

like a great idea considering you're called a bow

24:03

and arrow kind of girl. No

24:05

response from Lyril was heard. Sultana

24:08

steps into the darkness. Oh, yeah,

24:11

Father Westpike steps like side by side with her.

24:14

In a single blink, the disorienting shadows

24:16

enveloped them before receding beneath their feet.

24:21

Dark Dice, The Long Road, Chapter

24:23

19, The Dream is Over. Featuring

24:26

Hem Brewster as Rowena Granitepike and

24:28

co-DM, Ethor Vitharsson as Father Sindri

24:30

Westpike, Tanya Miloyevich as Lyril, Drew

24:33

Tillman as Elias, Casey Edison as

24:35

Sultana, Arch as Balance, Neil Martin

24:37

as Rahl, and Travis Vengroff as

24:39

co-Dungeon Master. Also featuring

24:41

the voices of Carolyn St. Pee,

24:43

Sabine Novakovich-Wagner, Sam Yao, Michael Villalobos,

24:46

and Ladybeard. This episode was produced

24:48

and edited with sound design by

24:50

Travis Vengroff, originally edited by Neil

24:52

Martin with audio cleanup by Finner

24:54

Nielsen, with mixing and mastering by

24:56

Marisa Ewing of Hemlock Creek Productions.

24:58

Featuring executive producers Dennis Greenhill, Carol

25:00

Vengroff, AJ Punkin, and Michael Villegas,

25:02

with associate producer Shion Francois. This

25:05

episode featured music by Neil Martin, Stephen Millen,

25:07

Brandon Boone, and Travis Vengroff. You can hear

25:09

the other version of this episode by going

25:11

to The Lucky Die and listening to their

25:13

amazing podcast, Please Do It, you know you

25:15

really want to because it's a lot of

25:17

fun. It's episode 50 and it's a

25:19

lot of fun to listen to. So go check out

25:21

The Lucky Die. To support this production,

25:23

please share your thoughts with friends, family

25:25

members, co-workers, cult members, wherever you lurk

25:27

on the internet, or within the darkness

25:29

you dwell. You can also

25:31

help us eat and keep the

25:33

lights on over at patreon.com/foolandscholar. This

25:36

is a Fool and Scholar production. Thank you

25:38

for listening. Hi,

25:41

I'm Volley. Hi, I'm Travis. Thank

25:44

you very much for bearing

25:46

with us on this random,

25:48

crazy, co-gaming, cross-podcasting event. This

25:50

was crazy fun. Sanity

25:53

testing, insanity, stress and all

25:56

the things. And oh my gosh, a lot

25:58

of work went into making it happen. I

26:00

don't want to tell you how much work behind the scenes went into

26:02

this. I really enjoyed being able

26:05

to say like, oh, here's the description of the

26:07

thing. All right, go, Bali. Yeah.

26:09

It's like, I'm going to set this all up.

26:12

You've got this right, Bali. I'm like, yeah, this

26:14

is great. All right. So

26:16

we'll do the outro. So Twitter,

26:18

you can find the Lucky Dive

26:20

podcast at tldpod. And

26:22

Dark Dice at Dark Dice Pod. Hey,

26:25

I've got a point. I've got a proficiency

26:27

in that. Can I roll too? Where

26:30

did you get a proficiency in history? Because Sintl

26:32

doesn't make any sense. None of my

26:34

characters make sense anymore. I have a proficiency

26:36

as well. Follow us, Pike,

26:38

grabs Rowena close and puts himself

26:41

between herself, between

26:43

her and the screaming woman. Lidl

26:45

moves in front of them between

26:47

them and the screaming woman and

26:50

raises her dagger. Threateningly. Elias

26:52

steps to the side. Elias.

26:56

I saved your life and now you stand to one side.

26:58

I didn't say I wasn't going to help you. I just said I moved out of the way. Balance

27:01

is very pointedly putting Zaltana between him and

27:03

the screaming woman. Of

27:07

course you do. Of course you do. Hashtag

27:09

Team Dwarf, hashtag Team Elf. Yep. Hashtag

27:12

Team Elf. Yes. Yep. We have

27:14

the pass. This is incredible. God, that's going

27:16

to be a Twitter poll if ever there was one. Yeah.

27:18

Which team is the best team? Clearly

27:20

Dwarf. Yeah, I say Team Dwarf because

27:22

we're the most cohesive. We're both dwarves.

27:24

We're both religious. And

27:26

we're both, we both have shields. So

27:29

we're the most cohesive of all of us. Here's

27:31

my argument. Elias probably thinks Rawl

27:33

is in his imagination. So that

27:37

makes him an imaginary friend, which makes it

27:39

the best. So

27:41

if he actually starts taking damage and start doing

27:43

things, does he need a sanity check? So wait.

27:45

Probably. Amazing. Raw

27:47

thinks he's in a fever dream. The

27:51

monks are very confused. Team

27:53

Delusion. Seven radiant damage.

27:55

So that's double damage for evil creatures like you.

27:57

Did you say double damage? What the fuck? I

27:59

was... joking, I was implying that balance is

28:01

a horrid creature of the Underdark. Okay, fair

28:04

enough. It's an easy mistake to make, I

28:06

guess. Nailed

28:09

it. Oh, you

28:12

cast a spell! I'm young again! You'll

28:15

never be young, because I can never take that deal

28:18

to make you young again now. Oh

28:20

no! My hopes and dreams are

28:22

being erased like previously recorded

28:24

audio lines from four years ago. Cinj,

28:28

are you okay over there? I sound like you're dying. Ah,

28:30

somebody picked a very wet log. It's no

28:33

steaming all over the place. Ah,

28:35

god damn it. Bocmos

28:38

would be better than this crap. I

28:42

don't know who to blame. I'm gonna

28:44

blame Elias. He probably pissed on it or poured

28:46

his booze on it or some shite. Whoever

28:50

it was had spares. Oh god,

28:52

they're all wet!