0:00

Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of

0:02

iHeart Radio in the Black Effects.

0:15

And just like that, we're back on the air.

0:17

Welcome back to yet another Canfully Reckless

0:19

episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. I'm gonna

0:21

be fixing mess today. We're gonna jump straight

0:23

in. We got a voice memo. Y'all know, I

0:26

love these, I love these. I love these real quick

0:28

before we jump straight in. Listen, y'all

0:30

know, y'all girl got that third spot on Breakfast

0:32

Club. Right, it's not official, it's not

0:34

official. It's actually an unofficial offer,

0:36

but it ain't official yet. But I'm claiming

0:39

it and I'm speaking it into existence because you're

0:41

supposed to speak of things as though they

0:43

were and I got that from the good Lord upstairs

0:46

and from that good Bible.

0:47

You know what I'm saying.

0:48

So yeah, I need for y'all to go

0:50

spam whoever comments y'all feel like, y'all

0:52

need to go spam Charlemagne fucking

0:54

be Et, fucking Breakfast

0:57

Club, DJ Envy spam

1:00

everybody. Y'all need to spam. I don't give a fuck

1:02

viacom VH one. I

1:04

heart spam everybody shit

1:07

because that's my third spot right there. Okay,

1:09

that's my third spot. Now we're gonna get it pop

1:11

in here we go. First person, Hey.

1:13

Jess, So there's a situation

1:16

with this guy that in my

1:18

delusional mind I kind of want

1:20

to get with him, but

1:23

my realistic mind wants to

1:25

just work with him because he is a

1:27

successful up and coming artist.

1:30

It's funny enough he was on Wilden

1:32

Out he recent me. But

1:35

yeah, I've been listening to him for years and for

1:37

some reason. Actually, I know exactly

1:39

why I caught a crush on him, because when

1:41

my grandma died from cancer in

1:43

January, I was listening

1:46

to his music on the road trip home and

1:48

it just it gave me all the vibes

1:50

I needed, and so like I

1:52

just really started liking him. It was like

1:55

he comforted me. His music confident me, and uplifted

1:57

me when I needed it the most. And I

2:00

started to see him in a new light, especially

2:03

like once I started watching interviews, and

2:05

I think that's when I like caught feelings

2:07

or whatever, just

2:10

like like if I watch your interviews,

2:12

I learn more about you. If I listen to your podcasts

2:15

and watch your show, like I feel

2:17

like I'm best friends with you in London and

2:19

Prince and I feel like I'm

2:22

I'm a consciousance with Rome because he's

2:25

a little mean, but I love all of

2:27

you guys, and so I'm just that type

2:29

of person. So I get like, I

2:32

understand the concept of a parasocial relationship

2:35

and like I like someone they

2:37

don't really know me, or they they

2:40

don't know me like that, and I understand

2:42

boundaries, right, But like with

2:44

him, it's a little different because this

2:47

artist, like he interacted with me. I

2:49

found out that he liked to read, so I sent him my book

2:51

and he was like thank you. And you know,

2:54

at the show, he was pointing at me because

2:56

he was there's only white people voiced basically at

2:58

the show, and he

3:00

said he's saying something about black women and pointed

3:02

at me. So like, I'm not being delusional

3:05

like he was. Actually I was the only

3:07

one he could have been pointing at basically. So

3:09

we had that moment. And then

3:12

when I comment sometimes he'll like he

3:15

likes a lot of comments, but like

3:17

he will actually respond to mine,

3:19

and he interacts with his

3:21

fans in general. But you know, he

3:24

made me feel really special, and so I

3:26

guess my problem is I want

3:28

to network with him and stay

3:30

top of mind without being

3:33

annoying and without being thirsty and

3:36

honestly like I, like

3:38

I said, like I had this huge

3:40

crush on him, and I'm like, I don't want to like ruin

3:44

things by just falling all

3:46

over myself and not knowing how to move. So

3:49

I guess my question would be, like, how do

3:51

I build the raport

3:54

naturally without like

3:56

overthinking it? And I know that you'd

3:58

understand because not only are you a

4:01

successful woman who was highly

4:03

sought after, I'm sure you have your fair

4:05

share of interactions with fans of the opposite

4:07

sex, right, but you

4:10

know what it's like to deal with a guy

4:12

who has clout and hos and

4:14

like shit to do. And

4:16

you just strike me as like you're that bitch,

4:19

like you know how to move in any situation

4:21

and you just have like this energy, you

4:24

know, And it's like, I'm still building up my bad

4:26

bitch energy.

4:26

I'm still very much like.

4:29

You know, trying to find

4:31

myself I guess, and my confidence

4:34

and my feminine power

4:36

or whatever.

4:38

Yeah, so Jess, please fix

4:40

my mess.

4:43

Thank you for your time, and that I

4:45

hope to you hear from you soon. Oh

4:48

and so the last part of the situation too, I WoT

4:51

to mention so like it's

4:53

like he was replying to my dms a

4:55

lot more at first, and

4:57

then it's like it kind of became like it

4:59

was like my like I would DM

5:01

him a few times or like reply to his story,

5:04

like over the course of a few days, and then

5:06

he would reply with like a few

5:08

words or like an emoji, you

5:10

know, just like it's just been like that

5:12

for the past few weeks. And I'm like falling

5:15

back now because I'm like, bro, I don't want to be annoying.

5:18

And I literally told him, like listen,

5:20

like the music is my life and you're one of my influences

5:23

and I want to connect with you and

5:25

impress you. And I just felt like radical honesty

5:27

was the best way to go.

5:28

So I just admitted that.

5:30

But I was like, yeah, I didn't.

5:32

Mean to be annoying, so like I unsent some stuff. I'm

5:34

sorry if that's weird.

5:35

And then so he hasn't really said much since then, and

5:40

I feel like embarrassed, Like I just like I

5:42

said, I just don't want to do too much.

5:44

Hold up, hold up, I noticed shit getting good, but

5:46

listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.

5:48

If you love me, you'll listen.

5:52

Okay, baby girl, I just want to say thank

5:54

you so much for writing me. And I

5:56

did listen to your first message, but I didn't put

5:58

it in here because that was the person knowing that was to me,

6:00

and I won't.

6:01

Let you know. I love you too.

6:03

And Prince in London and Rome, I'm sure

6:06

will be happy as hell to even hear that you even

6:08

spoke their names, because these people

6:10

they crazy, girl. They feel like don't nobody know them or

6:12

remember them because we only did one season

6:14

of Reckless I said, shit, that touched a lot of people.

6:17

You don't know, motherfucker. That's why Reckless

6:19

Discussions Season two is coming

6:21

back.

6:23

I just had to let y'all know that. Clap up, clap but up.

6:25

Season two. Reckless Discussions is

6:27

coming back, motherfucker. All right anyway,

6:30

so let me tell you this also.

6:33

I know you said you're still trying to find your bad bitch

6:36

energy. We're gonna move out of that. You

6:38

know why, I don't consider myself a bad bitch

6:40

because you know what, when we really define

6:44

what a bad bitch is, it's actually

6:46

very harmful to the culture. And

6:48

I don't want to be of

6:50

that definition anymore. You know

6:52

what I mean, And I'm growing into who I am as

6:54

well. I'm a thirty one year old black

6:57

goddess and I'm a

6:59

very power woman. I am very

7:01

motivated. I am ambitious the

7:04

amount of tenacity that I have for

7:06

my loungevity. You know, I know I'm

7:08

going TI a lot. I'm gonna going TI

7:11

here with the words, but I mean everything

7:13

I say. We're gonna move out of that bad bitch energy

7:15

because we don't need to do that. I'm gonna

7:17

say to you, you're still trying

7:19

to find your goddess energy. What

7:22

a goddess is, by definition,

7:24

a woman who is adored especially

7:27

for her beauty and brains. That

7:31

is equivalent to what people

7:33

think a bad bitch is. That's what a bad bitch

7:35

supposed to be. But the fact that the

7:37

word bad and the word bitch

7:40

total opposite of everything I

7:42

just said to you, of everything a

7:46

goddess really and truly is, you

7:48

don't want to be that. So let's move out of that space.

7:50

Let's move out of that space, beautiful black woman.

7:53

Now, I know who you talking bad.

7:57

I know, I know, I know, I know I know who

7:59

you're talking about out, and yes he is.

8:02

He's extremely talented. He's

8:05

a newer member on wild'n

8:07

Out. He's been there for like the

8:10

past two or three seasons. I'm gonna say too,

8:13

but yes, I do know what you're talking about. And music is

8:15

also his life as well. He's actually really cool

8:17

with me.

8:17

And I like him too. He's

8:19

cool. I mean, I don't like him like you like him, but I like him

8:22

too.

8:22

You know, he's definitely a strong influence

8:24

on music and instruments.

8:28

If I think if I'm talking about the right

8:30

person, I think you're talking about the Hispanic

8:32

fella. Yeah, and

8:34

he plays an instrument. Or am I putting too

8:36

much health here? I don't know, girl, I don't know. I don't

8:38

know, but yeah, he is fine or

8:40

whatever. What I want you to do is

8:43

stop being scared. I want you to find that confidence.

8:46

Find that confidence. I guess that was that bad bitch energy

8:48

he was talking about. Now find that confidence,

8:51

okay, because trust me, it's some bad bitches out

8:53

here who ain't got confidence.

8:54

Their confidence is shit. That's why

8:56

they are bad bitches.

8:57

Uh huh. They conform as

9:00

low as they can go. They conform to the lowest

9:02

vibrations to be accepted by

9:04

men. And that's where you have, bad bitch.

9:06

No, no, you're not confident.

9:09

That's why you unsent messages and all

9:11

that shit. That's why you got scared.

9:13

When he minimized what he was saying, his

9:16

responses went from you know,

9:18

lengthy to a couple of words and an emoji

9:20

here and there.

9:21

That does not mean he does not like you.

9:23

That does not mean that he

9:25

ain't paying attention to you, or he

9:28

can really just look at you the

9:30

way he's looking at every other woman in his

9:32

DM. You know why, because he's also

9:34

a guy on the come up. So if that

9:36

comes a lot of women cloud chasers,

9:40

comes a lot of those bad bitches you was

9:43

talking about. Uh huh, the comes

9:45

a lot of you know, ig models and girls

9:47

who just looking for either some dick, some

9:49

cloud or some money.

9:51

You know.

9:52

And it's probably so many of them in

9:54

his DM he hasn't really had time

9:56

to decipher, or he probably don't

9:58

want to decipher because there's been a

10:01

bad stigma put on dms.

10:04

A lot of love can be found in DMS, just

10:07

like it can be a lot of love found in person. It can

10:09

be money found

10:11

in dms like it can be a lot of money found

10:13

on the streets.

10:14

You know what I'm saying, dms are not a

10:16

bad thing. Look at it like this.

10:18

Social media ain't nothing but a dating

10:20

app. That's how motherfuckers link up,

10:22

That's how motherfuckers go.

10:24

You know what I'm saying. It ain't safe, but what

10:26

dating app is safe?

10:27

In fact, you're safe for meeting the motherfucker on Instagram

10:30

than you are on Christian mingle fuck

10:32

because people can disguise who

10:34

they are. You understand what I'm saying. So I'm

10:37

not saying that you

10:39

should give up on trying to talk to him,

10:41

but I think you should really know what you want first,

10:43

because you said you like him,

10:46

but you also business wise,

10:48

you would like to connect with him on a business

10:51

level as well.

10:52

You have to figure out.

10:53

Which one is more important to you, though, because

10:55

if I were him reading your DMS,

10:58

I wouldn't know whether you like me or

11:01

whether you wanted to do business. Because

11:03

you're very beautiful and

11:05

he's handsome, you could

11:07

be a person that's just trying to use business to

11:09

get close to him.

11:10

You got to think from both ends of.

11:12

The spectrum, you know, got to think from his perspective

11:15

and then also from yours as well. I

11:17

don't think you should have undersent anything, because

11:19

now that is your nervousness,

11:22

your anxiety, and your pride also

11:24

getting it away because you don't want to seem thirsty.

11:26

You don't want to see girl, what

11:28

the hellever? It don't matter.

11:31

Women can be thirsty just like man.

11:33

Girl, I've been thirsty a few times in my day, and I'm

11:35

even still thirsty right now for somebody

11:37

I ain't never gonna have. But shit, it don't

11:40

matter, girl, lorenz Tatus who I've

11:42

been thirsty after ever since I was like fourteen

11:44

years old. But whatever, he's

11:46

married, and I will never ever show my thirst

11:49

to this marriage. Man.

11:50

That's just disrespectful as fuck.

11:51

But I'm just saying, like, that's

11:54

somebody who I've always had a crush on, and shit

11:56

like that. You seem like you have a crush on this guy. And

11:58

I don't doubt at all that he was talking of you.

12:01

I don't doubt at all for one second that he

12:03

pointed at you and that audience.

12:05

I don't think you're delusional.

12:06

Stop giving me disclaimers, Stop putting

12:08

out so many disclaimers.

12:09

If you felt like that man was looking at you. He

12:12

was fucking looking at you.

12:13

If you like that nigga jumping that goddamn

12:15

DM, if he say two the goddamn

12:17

words back to.

12:18

You, you still bet not unsind shit.

12:21

Let him know, look I like you,

12:23

and then if it ever comes to a point

12:26

where he ain't showing you, you move

12:28

on to the goddamn next. It's okay for you

12:30

to like somebody and them not like you back the way

12:32

that you like them. That's the world.

12:35

That's not rejection. That's literally life.

12:39

It's life, and it's okay. It's

12:42

okay. It's okay for you to be pressed. It's

12:45

okay for you to be I'm talking to a guy

12:47

right now, right and he told

12:49

me something that was so cute.

12:51

I'd never heard a man say this shit ever.

12:54

He had called me, blew my fucking phone

12:56

up, and I

12:59

couldn't answer.

13:00

I was doing something. So when I finally called.

13:01

Him back, I said, damn, your

13:04

pressed ass called me four times

13:07

in a row. He said, yeah,

13:09

so what I'm pressed? You dang right, I'm pressed. I'm

13:11

pressed because I'm gonna make you mine. If

13:14

I ain't pressed, I'm a fuck around and lose you. I

13:16

like that if I ain't pressed, I'm a fuck around

13:19

and lose my spot. I'm like, damn,

13:22

that shit made my goddamn vagina

13:24

so moist.

13:25

I was like, oh my god, like

13:28

really late, you know what.

13:30

I'm saying, because I'm so sick of these stigmas

13:33

and these these these prideful

13:35

ass people acting like they can't

13:37

express how they really fucking feel. He said, shit,

13:39

I guess you can call me or I'm gonna be a pressed nigga

13:42

because I want you girl, and to stop playing with

13:44

me what she was doing.

13:46

I like that.

13:46

Shit, No, that's not toxic. That's really a

13:48

man letting me know how

13:50

to fuck he feel, and he don't give a fuck with

13:53

nobody else feel.

13:55

He likes me, he wants me.

13:57

Now.

13:57

I don't know if this is the guy for me

14:00

or whatever, but I know I like

14:02

that. That's different.

14:03

Nobody has ever said that to

14:05

me before. Nobody has ever you

14:08

know what I mean. And it's something so simple.

14:11

Now, he didn't buy me no bag. He didn't say

14:13

oh girl, yeah, let me take you out the dinner and alledge.

14:15

I mean he already did that. But it's

14:18

like the small things that

14:21

matters, you know, because he's not trying to fit in

14:23

with the society and what

14:26

is accepted and what is not accepted,

14:28

you know, and what is frowned upon or what the

14:31

other niggas ain't gonna like or what niggas don't

14:33

usually do and all of that. That's why it ain't

14:35

no real relationships. It's hardly any

14:37

real relationships that we see because

14:40

everybody got pride and everybody

14:42

ain't pressed, and everybody don't

14:45

you know. And I ain't trying to look like no clown

14:47

and I ain't trying to that's the men talking.

14:49

I ain't trying.

14:50

I ain't no clan, I ain't chasing no bitch, and no the

14:53

only thing I chase is money and

14:56

then women. I don't need a nigga for shit,

14:58

and I don't want cut it the fuck out,

15:01

got it the fuck out. Everybody

15:03

wants to be loved everybody.

15:06

I don't care what nobody say. Everybody wants

15:08

that person. I don't give a fuck

15:11

everybody. But my

15:13

advice to you is just that don't

15:16

unsend no messages. Re

15:18

send that guy that goddamn message, let

15:20

him know you like him, because he probably didn't

15:22

even fucking see it and then also

15:25

imagine how many goddamn dms

15:27

he getting and he just getting tired

15:29

of looking at him. So but he don't want

15:31

to be rude, so he responds, and he

15:33

probably responds just like, you

15:36

know, just just so he won't leave nobody

15:38

on sin or red, just you know, out of generosity.

15:42

But I think a clothes

15:44

mouth don't get fed.

15:46

And even sometimes rejection,

15:48

even if you do get rejected, say you hit him

15:50

up and you be honest with him, and you just say,

15:52

I'm not really looking for anything right now. Or

15:55

he may have a fucking girlfriend, or the nigga

15:57

may be gay. Girl, you up, you all in your

15:59

head, psyching yourself out. You don't

16:01

even know, you don't even know. Or he might

16:03

just like you, he might start

16:05

talking to you.

16:06

You never know.

16:08

But don't be scared, because I'd rather

16:10

say I tried and failed than to say I was too scared

16:12

to try it all.

16:13

Boom.

16:15

I love you. Check back in with me, girl.

16:18

If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial

16:20

and then we'll be right back.

16:23

Moving on.

16:25

Hey, Jess, I do not need you to fix

16:27

my mess, because I don't have one.

16:29

My life is amazing. But I

16:32

just wanted to.

16:32

Drop this for you and all the beautiful

16:34

young women that I hear talking

16:37

on your show that you know you

16:39

want a health that you have advice for.

16:42

I'm fifty two and I

16:44

didn't get all the way up to this big age.

16:46

But all picking up a few things and

16:49

life and love is not meant to be a struggle.

16:52

We have glamorized this sense of struggle

16:54

love where you forgive him

16:57

and taken back from cheating and taking back from

16:59

the outside baby, and all of this is

17:01

be engaged for five years why he

17:03

won't marry me? Then you win and

17:06

you get him, and you have to keep fighting and keep

17:08

doing And no, that's not what real love

17:10

is.

17:11

And you don't have to do that.

17:13

When a man wants you, he wants you,

17:15

and you don't have to lower yourself

17:18

to just be competing all

17:20

the time for him. So

17:22

basically what I'm saying is we have this thing

17:25

about where relationships are work,

17:27

yes, but they're not the hardest

17:29

work ever.

17:30

They're not like.

17:31

Working in a coal mine where you get

17:33

all dirty and you might die.

17:35

Of black lung disease.

17:37

It's like working out where it's

17:39

good for you and it makes you stronger

17:41

and it makes you a better person.

17:43

That's the type of work that.

17:45

Real relationships, real love should

17:47

be. So I just want to encourage you young

17:49

women. Don't settle for anything.

17:52

Don't just settle for the mess. And I

17:54

don't mean like having these high ass,

17:57

ridiculous ass standards about

17:59

how much money he's got a maid, what kind of

18:01

mansion, what kind of may.

18:02

Bok and all this stuff.

18:04

No standards about what kind of quality

18:06

man you want, loves God,

18:09

loves his mom, takes care of his kids,

18:11

has a sense of purpose, wants to

18:13

be a good man, a father, a

18:16

husband.

18:17

That's what you want, okay. And

18:19

I'm giving you.

18:20

This because I wish somebody had given it

18:22

to me and I hadn't wasted so much

18:24

time. But if

18:26

you are wondering if a

18:28

man cares about you, he

18:30

doesn't. Any man

18:33

that cares about you lets

18:35

you know, and it is obvious to you and

18:37

the world. There are no mixed

18:39

messages. The message is

18:42

he don't like you like that. So,

18:44

like Maya Angelo often quoted, when

18:47

people show you who they are, believe them.

18:49

Stop wasting your time trying to.

18:51

Make people better than they even.

18:53

Want to be. I love you young ladies.

18:56

God bless you and may you find

18:58

you're happy. Oh and I meant

19:00

to say this. I don't mind telling you I'm fifty

19:02

two because I don't look it. So

19:05

Also, I just got married

19:08

last year. I got my degree

19:10

in twenty ten when I was thirty nine

19:12

going on forty, and at the end

19:15

of this year I will be going back for a

19:17

master's in data analytics.

19:20

And also, as of Saturday.

19:22

I just crossed Delta

19:24

Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated

19:26

through my local alumni chapter. And

19:29

I'm saying all that to say this as well.

19:32

Stop setting timelines and acting

19:34

like thirty thirty five forty

19:37

is the end of your life. As long as you

19:39

have breath in your body, you can keep going

19:41

and accomplish whatever you want.

19:43

So sisters, never give up.

19:45

Ever you can be, have and

19:48

do whatever you see it for yourself.

19:51

It will be for yourself.

19:52

Love you, Oh my god,

19:55

I love you to miss

19:57

woman. Listen, and now I hope all of

19:59

y'all listening to that, because

20:01

look I was and I

20:04

am speechless, and that brings

20:06

me to the end of this.

20:08

Oh my god, that was amazing.

20:09

Look she said, I ain't got no mess, baby, I'm fifty

20:12

two, and I ain't get fifty two without picking a couple

20:14

things up. And I'm gonna let y'all know what I picked up, and

20:16

that you can. I'm gonna drop it right here. You can pick

20:18

it up if you want, or you can step over it. But somebody

20:20

else gonna pick it up that needed. And like

20:22

she said, she wished that somebody

20:25

would have dropped these jewels and told her,

20:27

if you are wondering, if

20:29

you have to wonder, if

20:31

you're wondering whether or not a man

20:34

cares about you, he don't,

20:36

because why are you wondering, They're gonna show.

20:38

They're gonna tell you. They're gonna prove it. It's

20:41

in their actions. It's in their words, it's

20:43

in their mannerysms. It's in the movements

20:46

that they make. It's in their head nods. It's in

20:48

them kisses that he give you. It's in that hug,

20:50

it's in that dick you ride. It's in everything,

20:54

everything from the flowers he gets you, to the way

20:56

he opened your door, to that good morning

20:59

text to the good night all

21:01

of that you should get and deserve

21:03

all that you should and vice

21:05

versa. Men, if you gotta wonder

21:08

if a woman really really love you or

21:10

not.

21:11

She don't, she don't

21:13

move on because it's somebody else that will.

21:16

And I love y'all so much. You're beautiful people. You're

21:18

beautiful Black women and men. You are beautiful

21:21

white women and men, and your beautiful others.

21:23

I mean, because there's so many of them, you know what, I'm

21:25

gonna take that back, because I don't need the Chinese

21:27

motherfuckers coming out. Just you did not say,

21:30

you didn't say you love us on the air, Okay,

21:32

I love y'all too. Then I the Spanish motherfucker.

21:34

Oh the why you didn't say you love us? So I'm like, you

21:36

know I do, or you know you're the Italian motherfucker.

21:38

I don't. I don't know. I'm sorry.

21:41

I love all of y'all answers all right, and

21:44

just like that, were done, and I

21:46

see y'all next week. Peace.

22:59

I can't believe.

22:59

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